Non diet reasons to sweat | The secret to making friends as grown up
Spoiler: it's pilates
Being in my thirties is better than being in my twenties in a lot of ways:
I go to sleep at 10! My apartment is bigger! I have a partner who doesn’t play mind games! I’m more fit than I’ve ever been! I work for myself! I get to travel often! A smaller portion of my closet is highly flammable!
Some things really suck though:
One singular glass of wine tonight means a 6 hour migraine tomorrow! I have both acne AND wrinkles! It feels like everyone NEEDS to know when I’ll fall pregnant! I have to wear a very sexy mouth guard to prevent stress grinding my teeth at night! I need my phone flashlight to read most menus!
Most importantly: making enough time for my female friendships (not to mention how daunting it feels to make meaningful new friends at all) is harder than ever.
I don’t know about you, but between my career, my family, travel, and the overall increased energy expenditure it takes to simply *exist* in New York City…most Friday nights, I’m ZONKED rewatching Veep for the 800th time.
Well, that, or in a plane, train, or automobile en route to someone’s out of state wedding/baby shower.
According to The Atlantic, it takes 200 hours of investment turn an acquaintance into a close friend. No wonder making friends at school and work feels so natural.
That repetitive connection is baked into your day without having to make a ton of additional effort to cultivate these relationships. *brb crying in self-employed*
The gutting part about this is that even once we meet someone we can see ourselves becoming close with, it’s quite rare to have that kind of time to devote to nurturing that bud of friendship.
That’s where movement comes in.
Lest ye think I’m just biased as a fitness instructor who thinks pilates solves everything, even neuroscientist Dr. Kelly McGonigal describes the exercise induced sense of community as not just due to endorphin fueled good vibes, but as a neurochemical phenomenon she calls “collective joy” that fast tracks bonding and trust building.
In addition to feeling more instantly connected to your community, McGonigal argues that exercise can literally release chemicals in the brain and body that improve mood, reduce inflammation, and make you more resilient to stress.
Basically, a lil pilates actually can be the cure for social anxiety and loneliness.
So what do you do if you’re already regularly moving your body with friends (or at least with other humans) and you still have a hankering for more girl time?
Well, it was my longing for a container to not only meet people with similar interests, but have the time to turn those people into actual friends is exactly what led me to selfishly create the HPS Annual Move & Make Upstate Escape.
It’s an incredibly special opportunity to mindfully reconnect to your body, your creativity, and nature during the peak of the stunning foliage transformation of Catskills autumn (IYKYK).
It wouldn’t be a HPS retreat without twice daily movement, meditation, journaling, locally sourced organic plant based meals, gentle hikes and plenty of deep restorative sleep.
If you’re like…okayyyy, that sounds great but my social anxiety could never handle a whole weekend with strangers even with pilates classes in the mix.
Fear not, we’ll also flex our creativity muscles (see what I did there?!) with candle-making, decorating vessels that serve as a energetic manifestation board each time we burn them, and making leaf prints from the very leaves we gather on our group forest walks to commemorate our weekend together.
You’ll get plenty of free time on your own to decompress and relax in nature, and plenty of structured group activities so you won’t struggle to create small talk for even one second.
Don’t panic, you don’t need to be an “artist” to participate.
The purpose of making some art together is not to perform or show off, but to help you feel connected to the group, get your mind thinking in a different way, and reinvigorate that ‘ol childlike sense of play with judging the result.
Writing marketing email to promote my work is my least favorite part of working for myself so I’ll just leave you with this:
I hope you’ll join me October 3rd-6th, 2024 for a weekend of nourishing meals, daily pilates, myofascial release work, guided meditation and journaling, leaf peeping, nature walks, workshops on manifestation, candle making and leaf print making, and ample time to connect with your body and each other—plus, snuggles with the pigs, goats, bees, and chickens of the 110 acre beautiful, biodynamic Succurro farm.
At the very least, I hope you add connection to your mental list of reasons why you can be both a fitness person and an anti-diet person. After all, what good are “long, lean lines” if you’re lonely and hungry?
Interested? Head to Helen Phelan Studio for accommodation and pricing details (you’re gonna LOSE it when you see the stunning outdoor showers!) Oh and code EARLYBIRDIE24 gets you $50 off your booking 😉 We’re obvi gonna make tons of new friends over the weekend, but you can also book out a tent or apartment for a small group if you have a group of friends who want to room together!
Quick Links & Announcements
Join my on-demand pilates studio with a 10 day free trial 💻
Pricing an issue? Email me directly about sliding scale memberships!
Book a private virtual mat pilates session from anywhere or a private reformer pilates session in Brooklyn 💪
Join me at Domino Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn June 22nd, July 20th, and August 17th at 10am for Helen Phelan Studio’s signature mat pilates class with a view! No sign up required, BYO mat!
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